I think there is no doubt that most people accept that our Family Justice System is broken.
Our society is entrenched in the idea that when family breakdown occurs the place to go is court, I have written many times my views on this ideology, but when you speak to so many who have been involved in the court system and have had a bad experience, we must look at how we deal with family breakdown, not just in the UK but globally.
Why is it even necessary for a parent to have to go to court to enable them to see their own child?
The court system by its very nature is adversarial, absolutely what you want to avoid when dealing with family breakdown.
In the middle of this ‘waring’ system are the most important people of all, the children.
Of course the system says they always work towards the child’s best interest, but when you have reached that stage, it is already, in my view not in the child’s best interest.
It is why it is vital that we actually talk to children, and ask them what is best for them.
What language we should be using, why do we use words such as, contact, when a child would want us to rephrase that to family time. Why do we use the word sibling, does a child use that word? No they say brother or sister.
Those examples come from the children themselves.
A group of children who are members of FJYPB, Family Justice Young People’s Board, 79 0f them to be exact, ( I know it says 50 on website but the number has increased) age ranging from 7 to 25.
Check out https://www.cafcass.gov.uk/family-justice-young-peoples-board/
to read more about these young people, the very people we should all be focussing on.
The voices of these young people and many others like them must be listened to and we have to reimagine the way forward on how best to help and support them when facing what is a very traumatic time of their lives.
Family breakdown in all its forms requires help, understanding and compassion, a coming together of all agencies to help navigate the best path for the children.
Adults may well break up or fall out, but the children still love everyone, all of their family and need reassurance that those precious people are all still there for them.
As I have also written many times before, education is key.
We may be teaching our young people about Healthy Relationships etc, but we need to address separation/divorce/family breakdown as well, an open and honest conversation about how sometimes relationships change and things can go wrong, and about everyone’s responsibilities if they do.
If we enable children at a young age to be able to have those conversations we are moving in the right direction.
