It is January 5th and I seem to have survived the festive period!
We all know that it can be such a hard time for so many people for many different reasons.
Often we are hopeful that this will be the Christmas that we are reunited with family members, only to have our hopes dashed once again, and we start the New Year with those same feelings of hopelessness.
There are those who did have that reconciliation, in fact several of our grandparents did have their dream come true.
A Facetime call, a text , a visit and their journey begins of rebuilding those lost relationships.
I have written many times about that journey of reconciliation, but it needs patience and compassion and not revisiting the past.
A New Year is also a time for Spring cleaning our mental health as well as our physical health, it is vital that we look after ourselves, even though we may be feeling,’what is the point?’
The point is that we owe it to ourselves and those around us, to live the life we have been given, to find gratitude in the things we do have, and above all else to not allow the behaviour of others, which we can not control, impact on our daily lives.
The destruction caused by estrangement is enormous and can be all consuming. And it really can consume us.
Don’t give them the satisfaction of your destruction.
I know it is easier said than done, and I didn’t say it is easy.
When we are trying to negotiate loss it is perfectly normal to feel many different emotions, angry, sad, confused, frustrated to name just a few.
Share your feelings with trusted people or within a support group, talking with others who are experiencing similar feelings is beneficial to both parties, don’t shut yourself away and isolate yourself.
Remember you are grieving and therefore you are going through the stages of grief, sometimes when we acknowledge that, we can face it together.
There will be some good days and some bad days, but emotions change and we need to go with them, knowing that these feelings don’t last forever.
If you don’t have someone to talk to, try writing your feelings down, maybe in a journal, don’t just write the negative stuff but notice the positive stuff as well.
Try not to overthink things.
Getting stuck in the overthinking can be exhausting, blaming and being resentful will take away the energy and commitment you need to start the healing process.
This grief can be so paralyzing, it can prevent you from living your life. But remember as the days go by, these feelings of despair will start to gently lift, and you will notice the sun rising.
