When we experience the living bereavement of unjustified estrangement, we question ourselves constantly,
Could we have done something differently?
Was it my fault?
Facing this heartbreaking rejection affects our self-esteem, knocks our confidence and we doubt our actions.Self esteem is how we perceive ourselves and how we value ourselves.
How can we begin to rebuild our self-esteem?
A good starting point is to start being kind to ourselves. We spend a great deal of time thinking about others, time to focus on ourselves.Think about what makes us happy, what are our individual values?
As we say in our “I Will Survive’ step plan, we need to talk to ourselves as we would talk to a friend, stop putting ourselves down at every opportunity.
Say No.
Learn to be assertive, and learn to use the hardest word of all, say No! All too often we get pulled from pillar to post by lots of different people, asking us to do this that and the other. It is so easy to say yes to everything and then realising we can’t breathe, when someone asks you to do something, take a breath and say no. You don’t have to explain the reasons.
Be Positive.
Everyone is good at something, just think about those things, those special skills you have. Tell yourself, you are a good person, you are a kind person , we don’t find saying nice things about ourselves very easy, we have to practise.
Good Enough.
Remember it is OK to be a good enough person, you don’t have to be a super hero. Don’t compare yourself to others, you are unique, there is no-one else like you. Don’t spend hours on social media platforms thinking everyone else is so much better than you and living a better life than yourself. Most of that is rubbish.
Spoil Yourself.
Allow yourself to do something you love. It could be going to a Spa, having a special meal or just making that really gooey cake you love!
Pat yourself on the back.
Recognise those small successes, and there are many of them if you look for them, if someone says something nice about you, accept those compliments.
Talking to others and sharing your feelings in a trusted place with trusted people is always empowering. Spend time with positive people. There are many people in our lives who love and care about us, we don’t need to focus on the negative people.
If you set yourself goals make sure they are attainable.
We all know we need to try and keep ourselves healthy, we need to get enough sleep, have a good balanced diet, keep active, spend time outside, we just need to action these things.
Remember to accept praise, you are valued.
