All of the calls and emails we receive are so emotional, listening to grandparents whose hearts are broken is truly heart rendering.
It is incredibly difficult when a grandparent says that life is no longer worth living and they no longer want to be alive.
Those first few minutes between the helpline responder and the caller, really can be a life and death moment.
We must never be worried about talking about suicide, it is a myth that by talking about it will make it worse.
The fact that a caller has the courage to pick up the phone is the first step.
By calling they are inviting us to ask the question,’ Are you having suicidal thoughts?’
As a responder we need to think about if the caller is at medium risk or high risk.
There is a strategy to use called HAS.
Hear
Ask
Support.
The most important thing as a responder is to listen, with empathy and no judgement.
It may be good idea to discuss a safety plan with the caller, that will do a few things, it puts the control back to the caller, it will focus them on setting out a plan. This could look a bit like this:
1/ Getting through right now?
Listen to some music, read some poems, photo of wonderful sunrise or sunset, photo of a special place or person, phone a trusted person, spend time with a pet, do something that you find relaxing, be aware of your surroundings and the moment, think about a special future event, go for a walk, count backwards from 100 etc.
2/ Making your situation safer.
Remove anything I could use to hurt myself,if you are in an unsafe position, promise to move away, Ask someone else to look after your medication, only keep 2/3 days medication at home, remove any alcohol from sight, putting on a nice bright light to help you feel safer, avoid places you feel unsafe etc
3/ Things to lift or calm your mood.
Connect with someone in person, phone someone, send a group chat message, send private message to trusted person via social media,, listen to a meditation video, have a bath, write down your feelings etc.
4/ Things to distract.
Make a list of things to take your mind away from distressing feelings and keep you busy.
5/ People to support you.
Write down a list of people with phone numbers who you can message or talk to for a chat.
6/ List who you can talk to if you are distressed or thinking about self-harm or suicide.
List of people you can talk to if you are thinking of hurting yourself or suicide .
Samaritan: 116 123
Mind: 03001233393
7/ Emergency professional support.
Your GP:
Your mental Health team or care co-ordinator.
NHS Helpline England 111
NHS Helpline Scotland 111
NHS Direct Wales 08454647
( Thanks to Connecting With People plan.)
Here are links to places of help:
Staying Safe: www.stayingsafe.net/home
We can say that, ‘These feelings will pass,’ “You have got through rough times before, you can again,’ You do matter,’ ‘You are valued,’ ‘Focus on 30 seconds at a time, focus on getting through the next 15 minutes.’
As a responder we can empower people to take back control.
We have ‘Two ears and one heart.”
We can listen and show compassion.
