I have many times written about the power of local support group meetings.
As we all know when we become estranged from a grandchild, it is utterly devastating and we think we are alone.
Hopefully by now you do know you are certainly not alone.
Often grandparents ask what they can do, I would highly recommend you think of setting up your own local group.
It was certainly my therapy.
We can become totally consumed by the grief of losing a precious person, so much so that we can barely function. Every waking and sleeping moment is consumed by the emptiness. By offering support to others benefits both sides. When you are supporting others it makes you move past your own sadness, focussing on how we can help others.
Grandparents often ask about setting up their own group.
I would say you do need to be at the right time and place, to do so, and only you will know if you are ready for that step.
Groups can be as small as two people meeting in a local cafe, or bigger.
Publicity is key, getting your idea out there. It doesn’t happen overnight, I have had grandparents who have had our contact details in their pocket for months before reaching out, so don’t get despondent if you don’t hear anything from anyone at first, but keep at it. I guarantee there are estranged grandparents in your area.
Writing to any ‘free’ magazines that pop through your door, or your local press, local radio,local TV. Putting up posters in community venues, local health areas, Citizens Advice.
I am always happy to talk to grandparents who might be thinking of setting up a group, I can also let you have posters that you can adapt by placing a sticker on it saying something like, “Your Local Group is setting up,’ adding time and place.
I would say don’t use your personal mobile number, or personal email for contact.
One thing that is also important to say is that you are not legal experts and don’t give ‘advice.’
That last bit may seems strange, not to give advice, because isn’t that actually the point?
It was something that was said to me when I first founded BGSG, by a solicitor.
Just think about if you gave some advice to someone who then acted on that advice only for it to go horribly wrong, it would have been down to your advice.
An example could be, if a grandparent asked you if they should send birthday cards ect. If you said, of course you should, and they do, only to be accused of harassment, that is not what you want.
So, of course at meetings we share ideas and strategies which is different from giving advice.
Any decisions a grandparent makes has to be a personal decision tailored to their own circumstance.
Please do get in touch if you are reading this, thinking maybe you could help others.
