Mental Health is talked about more than it has ever been, as it should be.
All too often someone’s mental health issues are blamed in estrangement situations.
1 in 4 of us will suffer with our Mental Health at some point in our lives, many factors can send us off kilter, and we never know when that might happen.
It is often misunderstood and we can become very judgemental when we encounter a family member suffering this way. It is not a case of ‘pull your socks up, and get on with it,’ no one deliberately puts themselves under this ‘label,’ I too have been that judgemental person in the past, but hopefully not any more.
For those who have never experienced the all encompassing cloud that engulfs us, find it so difficult to understand how totally debilitating Mental Health illness can be. It takes over lives, all family members are affected it destroys families and can cause enormous resentment.
Children who have a parent who has episodes of non functionality have to grow up very quickly, have to become self sufficient and many live in their own little worlds to compensate. It is a very confusing time for them, never knowing if Dad or Mum are actually present from one day to the next.
Relationships are shattered beyond repair.
The change of personality is hard for us as adults to accept, so for children it must be so confusing, I don’t know what their thoughts are, one day a parent is giving you lots of hugs and giving you their undivided attention the next day they don’t want to have you anywhere near them.
So what happens as these children grow up?
All too often resentment sets in and that is totally understandable.
Of course these children become adults and that resentment is deeply ingrained within them, and can affect how they perceive their parent, in particular when it comes to grandparent and grandchild relationships, that loss of trust and concern of instability of that parent can and does impinge on a full loving relationship with the grandchildren.
Of course we can see the unease, so how to we try to regain those relationships?
I don’t think there is an easy answer, not sure actually if there is an answer.
We must acknowledge that if there is a proven safeguarding issue then the safety of all children must always come first.
I was reading an article today which I found very powerful, in which a Dad who has Bipolar writes a ‘love letter’ of sorts to his Bipolar, it is extraordinarily moving and hopefully helps us to just begin to get a glimpse into that relationship with Bipolar.
I think our understanding of Mental Health is still a work in progress, a work we all need to build on.
