Over the years I have lots of calls from grandparents who have lost contact after adoption.
I received one of those calls this week and ITV also did an item on this issue yesterday.
The grandparent who contacted me had a similar story as the one featured, and it opens up the call for Grandparents Rights from a slightly different perspective.
You will know that I have always had a problem with that phrase and I still do, for me it is always about the rights of the grandchildren, and I think that in the very specific case of adoption, there most certainly needs to be a change.
Grandparents who have played a very close role in the upbringing of their grandchildren, when the parents are unable to look after them for a variety of reasons be that mental health issues, drug/alcohol abuse, or emotional/physical abuse, to then find themselves having to deal with the possibility of the grandchildren being fostered and ultimately then being adopted is tragic for all concerned.
Grandparents fully understand that the children need to be in a safe and secure environment, and also feel that the children being fostered or adopted might well be in the child’s best interest, what they don’t understand is that once adopted there is a very good chance that they will never see those precious children again.
All they may have will be Letterbox contact. Over the last 20 years, ‘letterbox’ contact has become the typical way for adopted children living in England to keep in touch with their birth parents. Letters are exchanged between the adoptive parents and the child’s birth family most commonly the birth mother, father or grandparents, maybe once or twice a year,facilitated and mediated by the adoption agency.
How is that in the child’s best interest?
All children need to know about their family history, it enables them to understand their own identity.
The grandparent I spoke to this week has been with their grandchildren all of their lives until now, and one grandchild said, “I know I will never see you again.”
This child is 6 years old.
The emotional harm that is doing to that child is immeasurable, as is the devastation of the grandparents.
If ever there was a need in the change in the law, it is right there.
When a child has to be adopted the links to those family members should be recognised in law.
(As always, the exception has to be when there is proven reasons that it would be harmful to the child to have contact with their birth extended family.)
