How can I get through this?

Emotional Coping

  • Create a ritual of release: Light a candle, say a few words, or write in a journal when feelings of grief surface. Giving the pain a “place to go” can make it easier to carry.

  • Use grounding techniques: When sadness or anger feels overwhelming, focus on your senses—notice five things you can see, four you can touch, three you can hear, two you can smell, one you can taste. This anchors you to the present.

  • Self-compassion practice: When the inner voice says

  • “I must have failed,” gently respond with: “I am human, I’ve loved, and I’m doing my best with what I know now.”


💌 Staying Connected in Spirit

  • Write unsent letters: Express your love and hopes for your grandchildren, even if you don’t send them. This helps you feel connected without crossing boundaries.

  • Memory box or photo album: Collect items that remind you of the love you feel—this can transform longing into a form of honoring.

  • Positive visualization: Imagine sending love and light to your children and grandchildren, even across distance. This can soothe feelings of helplessness.


🌿 Daily Well-Being Habits

  • Set small joys into your routine: Morning walks, tea rituals, or a favourite radio program give structure and stability.

  • Limit triggers: If seeing constant family posts on social media deepens your pain, it’s ok to step back or set boundaries with your online use.

  • Mind-body care: Practices like yoga, tai chi, or gentle stretching reduce stress carried in the body.


🤝 Finding Support Beyond the Family

  • Support groups: Many grandparents find comfort in groups for estrangement where they feel less alone.

  • Therapeutic outlets: Talking with a counsellor trained in family estrangement can provide tools for coping.

  • Community connection: Volunteering with children (schools, libraries, mentoring programs) can channel your love where it is welcomed and needed.


🌸 Reframing Your Role

  • Instead of focusing on the role that feels lost, embrace the ones available to you now—friend, neighbour, mentor, storyteller, experience.

  • Reclaim your wisdom and nurturing energy in spaces where it’s received, rather than only in spaces where it’s blocked.


About Jane

Jane setup Bristol Grandparent Support Group in 2007 after a string of incidents led to the loss of contact with her Grand Daughter.

View all Jane Posts

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