Sometimes we have to have an open mind, to be prepared to listen and to admit that sometimes in certain circumstances estrangement is the last and only option.
If we can step out of our own situation for a moment and consider what we would say to a friend who was experiencing a difficult family relationship, we might just see things a little differently.
All families have difficult and challenging times, and although we will say that we need to communicate, to try to find a way forward for all concerned, it is not the answer we would hope for.
If as a child and young adult you have experienced a constant life of criticism, endless judgement there comes a time when you have to walk away from those who are causing this hurt.
Over the past few months there have been several well known people who have made that decision to forge a new path for themselves, without a family member or in some cases all family members in their lives, it is the only way they feel they can flourish and grow.
I know this is a hard read for those of us who are estranged from a family member, but I do believe we also need to accept that in some circumstances it is inevitable.
And I for one, will always wonder what did I do?
I am not saying that you did anything, just that I must have done something.
My family was obviously not the family our granddaughter was hoping for, somehow we fell short of her expectation.
You might find this article interesting that was on the BBC website this week, and I am sure you will have plenty to say about it https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c5y2l0glqeyo
Whatever your response, I think we do need to accept that there are many young adults who apparently feel this way, and there feelings are valued.
As I said, what would we say to a friend if they confided in us, telling us how a family member made them feel?
In a perfect world, I would say,”Can you not talk to them, tell them how you feel?”
Sadly, as we know all too well, we don’t live in a perfect world, very far from it.
