After many years of estrangement, those of us who have reached a place of acceptance, can easily be knocked off our place of safety.
At our last meeting we discussed how some of us don’t wake up everyday ruminating and tying ourselves up into knots, with the thoughts of, why.
Just when we feel we have moved forward and have started to rebuild our lives without those special people in our lives, something can happen to put us right back to the beginning.
A grandparent who had sadly lost a very dear friend, a friend of over 40 years, found that they had to make the very hard decision not to attend the funeral, she was heartbroken.
She knew that many people who would be attending,were people who knew her before her estrangement, a situation she felt she was not able to face. She felt she couldn’t explain to those who would have asked her how her family were. All those old wounds were laid bare once again.
It only goes to prove how vulnerable we all are.
It also opens up another conversation maybe we all need to have.
Everyone will have different views, these are just mine.
How long do we have to feel ashamed at a situation that we have no control over?
Estrangement is now affecting millions across the UK, almost everyone you talk to are either going through it themselves or have a family member who are.
Whether we like it or not it has become the norm.
If we allow perpetrators of estrangement to filter into our everyday life, they are holding the upper hand over us, we can’t allow them to do that.
Obviously not everyone is in the place,yet, to be able to push through these difficult situations.
It makes me so sad when I hear that people feel they can’t take part in certain events, just incase, they face a difficult question.
As I have said so many times, we can’t be responsible for others behaviour but we are responsible for our own and how we react.
I would say that when you are in a difficult event, hold your head up high,remember the reason why you are there, live that moment. Never decide to hide away, it might be a decision that you will regret.
Also, we overthink all of these things and in reality most of the things we think will happen, don’t!
The good news was that this particular grandparent faced her fear and anxieties and did attend her good friends funeral, and those who did ask those difficult questions were very sorry to hear of the estrangement and full of empathy.
She was able to take part in a celebration of her friends life, as she should be able to.
