Anyone who is estranged from a grandchild knows how heartbreaking it is, and knows how it can penetrate our entire lives. Every waking moment is a constant tide of waves of utter despondency. The hopelessness is relentless.
I have written many times about taking back control, and I make no apologies for revisiting my thoughts.
When we feel out of control of any situation it is an uncomfortable place to be.
It is someone else’s control that is or has caused the situation we find ourselves in, so we have to be able to bring that control back to ourselves.
We can’t control decisions made by others, but we can control how we react and deal with it as we attempt the climb back up from the foothills of our desolation.
If I have learnt anything over recent months is that life throws things at us when we least expect it, one minute we are carrying out our daily lives as best we can the next something happens to change everything.
We have to learn to adapt to these traumatic changes, and is not easy.
How we all face these challenges will be different for everyone, so I will write about my own ways to find solace.
My friends are vital in my healing, real friends.
Those extraordinary people who are quietly watching over you, always ready to give you a hug. People you can trust. If like me you are blessed with these real friends, never forget to thank them. I know without them life would be even harder than it has been. So thank you.
We all need an escape route.
Mine is my garden.
I was born in the house I live in, and the garden has always been a constant in my life.
As I write this it is the first day of Spring, and just such a wonderful time to get out into the garden, after what feels like a very long grey Winter, the growth that is happening right now outside is just so wonderful.
The birds are emptying the feeders quicker than I can fill them, they are chirping in the trees and the Robin is waiting for me to get out the spade and start digging in hope that a juicy worm will appear. Having had his fill of goodies he will then pop onto my little pond and drink and bathe, it is a delight to watch.
I am not a fan of planting bulbs in the Autumn, but I do and now I reap the rewards, outside on my patio the pots are full of daffodils and they shine in through the window, you can’t help but have your spirits lifted by the yellow glow that they are displaying.
Just walking down the garden feels me with joy, for months the beds have seemed lifeless,but now after a well earned rest, tiny shoots are forcing their way through the soil surface, as I always forget where things are, every little shoot is a surprise, and over the next few weeks they will continue to pop up and their beauty will be revealed.
It is 5:30 am as I am writing,and my window is open, the Dawn Chorus is in full swing each little bird trying to be the best as he can be, I can hear,Robins, Blue Tits, Great Tits, Blackbirds ect, just glorious.
A garden is ever evolving, it doesn’t have to remain the same, you can change it, and I do constantly.
Planning the year ahead makes me focus on taking back some control, of course none of us can control nature, but we can work together and be a small part in the joy of it all.
We can take far too much time considering which plant to put where, throw caution to the wind. If a plant is happy it will thrive, if it isn’t move it somewhere else, you don’t need rules!
Like everything in life plants need food,water and sunshine we can nurture those tiny plants so that they can flourish, in doing so we will flourish to.
Those minutes or hours spent outside taking care of my garden, helps me to rebalance, whatever is going on around me, however low I may be feeling, my garden will carry on growing and producing those surprises, month after month, making me feel grateful for all the good things in my life.
So the plan for this morning is to clean the greenhouse, not my most favourite job, but in doing the boring bit, I will then be able to fill it with something, don’t know what yet, but that’s the exciting bit.
I have taken back a bit of control to my life.
