When I set up BGSG all those years ago, I did so because I couldn’t find any support myself, and I wanted to reach out to any grandparent who might be experiencing the living bereavement that we were facing as a family.
I wanted to turn a negative into a positive.
It has been a privilege to get to know so many people, many who are now good friends, people I would have never met had we not been catapulted into the toxic space of estrangement.
BGSG is about its members and never about any one person, it is the compassion and support you all give that is the real life saver, and really you do save lives.
Over the years we have been involved with all aspects of media and that in it self brings positives and negatives.
The positives are that we are able to reach out to anyone who may be feeling isolated and alone, the negatives can be that because of the very nature of media, you may have talked to the interviewer for hours trying to get the true impact of estrangement covered, in reality, all of that film or information is taken away and is edited, to just snapshots and snippets, rarely the full discussion.
Let alone the legal restrictions that cause a very stilted feature, in my view.
As a consequence what may have been hours of discussion ends up with just half a sentence that can often be misconstrued.
A perfect example is of a recent event where I was asked my opinion of grandparents going down the legal route, and I said, as I always do, that as a consequence of knowing of three grandparents who had taken their own life as a direct result of going to court, I could not morally endorse the legal route, but that we always support grandparents in that personal decision and always will.
It was only the first part of my response that was included.
Just in a few minutes the words are taken out of context and are totally misinterpreted.
Anyone who thinks we do not support grandparents who have been or want to go to court are misinformed.
For my part, doing filming is to raise awareness, as it has been for over 15 years, and as a result of the recent item BGSG has been contacted by almost 50 grandparents, grandparents who are no longer alone and isolated, joining the 8,000 grandparents who have already reached out for support over the years.
Our website since its relaunch has been visited by over 59,000 visitors from across the globe. We are contacted by several hundred people per year, be that via our helpline, email, social media etc.
The whole issue of estrangement is bigger than any one person and any one organisation, families are in distress, children are facing emotional harm, all need help and support.
I care deeply for all the children/grandchildren who are going through this turmoil and I also care deeply for parents/grandparents who are trying to make sense of senseless behaviour, there will be and are no winners in these scenarios.
Addendum: After hearing that there had been complaints about what I said on the programme, I wrote to the producer and series producer as I was very concerned to think some people were upset by my comment. Here is the response:
