It is one thing to be estranged from a grandchild/grandchildren because a parent decides that you can no longer be in their lives, but it is a totally different thing when those grandchildren make that decision for themselves.
All grandparents hang on to hope, as they should do, that when their grandchildren are old enough that they will then want to know their grandparents and discover their own history and identity, and many do.
That ultimate joy of hearing your grown up grandchild after many years apart is indescribable, and the new journey begins, a getting to know you journey.
It has to be a getting to know you journey for both parties, trust has been broken in the past and it takes patience and care to regain that trust.
Months and months of walking on eggshells, being mindful of every word you say.
The relationship is fragile and can change within minutes.
All of us want to be the very best grandparent we can be, and we want to be able to show how much we care and love our grandchildren, but sometimes things don’t work out that way.
However hard you try, it turns out you are not a good enough grandparent and they slip out of your life once again, but not because someone else has caused it, but because you are not the person your grandchild wanted you to be after all.
You have not lived up to their expectation, whatever that expectation was, you will never know because they don’t tell you.
So you are left, bereft, that empty void in the pit of your stomach that you lived with years ago, returns gripping at your very soul.
What should you have done to prevent this rejection?
I have no idea.
I remember being given a tiny teddy bear from one of my grandchildren, which said “Best Granny” on it, it is what we try to be, but clearly we aren’t.
The immense hurt is impossible to describe.
