This blog will probably make me unpopular amongst some of you, so apologies at the start.
After 17 years of supporting grandparents I hope I have learnt a thing or two.
What I absolutely know is how vulnerable estranged grandparents are, and just like me at the beginning of my own estrangement, we all search high and low for answers, and we have a strong feeling of wanting to do something, to make those in power to act to prevent the emotional abuse being caused to our grandchildren.
It is totally understandable that when people come to the fore, promising to get the changes we believe will end this living bereavement, that there will be those who become ‘followers.’
But what happens to the followers if those promises don’t actually make those changes, so many desire?
What are they left with?
No change.
Many will have been encouraged to write to their MP’s, again, most if not all will receive the standard response, the same response that we were being sent 17 years ago, it has not changed.
I have folders full of responses from many different ministers etc, and they are all the same, an understanding of how important grandparents are but that’s as far as it goes.
This all may sound defeative, and to an extent I suppose it is, but one thing I am absolutely sure of is that the awareness now is much greater than it was, grandparents have made their voices heard on behalf of their grandchildren.
You may wonder why I am writing this blog and why the title says what it does, it is because I care deeply about all the grandparents I have contact with, I am protective about them all,
No-one should give them false hope.
It is true that we all need to hang on to hope, but it has to be a realistic hope, suggesting that laws etc can change frankly are not realistic.
As I have said so many times before, even if there ever was a change in the law, how on earth would it actually work?
Would you be able to contact your family members who are causing the estrangement and say, that now the law has changed you have a right to see your grandchild, what would the response be? What effect would that have on our grandchildren?
The children are in the middle of adult conflict, they are quite rightly loyal to their parents, they don’t want them to be upset or angry.
The only way is education, educating everyone about their responsibilities to put children first.
There may not be the changes many are looking for but we can still help and support each other with empathy.
We can and will continue to put our grandchildren first, we will continue to hold them in our hearts and leave the door open for them.
