In this toxic and sometimes aggressive place of unjustified estrangement it can be a difficult place to find kindness.
All too often being kind seems to somehow get lost in the anger that encapsulates all forms of family breakdown.
It has become clear that a simple act of kindness not only is a good thing for the recipient but also benefits those showing kindness. Just being kind to someone makes us happier, it is contagious, it builds resilience, in fact there is absolutely nothing negative about being kind.
So why are we unkind to others?
There may be a number of reasons why people are unkind, they could be angry,they may be jealous, lack compassion.
Although there are many groups supporting and working with estranged family members, you would think that common denominator should bring everyone together, but sadly that is not always the case.
If there is a difference of opinion, which is what makes us unique, groups can turn against one another, it as though there is some sort of unwritten competition going on. So in other words you either tow the party line or you get ostracized.
As children we are taught to be kind to one another but we are all guilty of forgetting it as we get older.
We never know what others are going through, many are carrying heavy burdens unseen by most, and unkind words can have a devastating effect, whereas a smile or a kind word can make someone’s day.
I would hope that those of us who have or are going through estrangement would understand completely how an unkind act impacts on our daily lives and therefore would ensure never to be unkind to others, as we know what a hit it does to our self esteem, even making us doubt ourselves.
When we are going through traumatic situations in our lives we crave kindness,it is absolutely necessary.
What should we do if someone is unkind to us?
I believe we have to tell them how it makes us feel, and ask them to stop.
Social media as we know can be a horrible place to be, unkind comments are rife and it feels as though it has almost become acceptable, but being unkind is never acceptable, and if we witness it we should call it out.
Sadly some have become so self-centred that kindness is not in their vocabulary, they are only concerned with their own ego and importance and they will trample anyone who gets in their way.
For me kindness is the very best that one human can give to another.
However unkind others are towards us, we must always strive to be the bigger person, to not fall into the spiral of negativity, and to treat their unkindness with a smile.
