We all know how estrangement can affect our whole life, if we allow it to.
It does impact our physical and mental health.
Most of us not only have the grief of estrangement but many will have our worries and stresses of family life, life is messy and sometimes it can be overwhelming.
Trying to be all things to all people becomes intolerable.
I was talking to a friend recently who said, “Jane your bucket is full and overflowing,” that really struck a chord, and puts it so well.
It can feel like an elastic band being pulled in all directions that at any moment it will snap.
It is one thing to acknowledge this but what can we do about it?
With every problem we strive to find a solution.
So the acknowledgement that we are overflowing, is the first step, accepting that we are human and all of us find ourselves at breaking point.
If we break then we are of no help to anyone, fundamentally no help to ourselves either.
Time to hold our hands up and say, we can’t take anymore.
Enough is enough.
It may be that we have to be honest with others, to explain how we are feeling.
To say you are struggling is never a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength.
If you are the sort of person who is always there for others, always ready to step in when things are going wrong for others, you will understand what I am saying.
It is so much easier to say, yes, to people rather than to say, sorry but no.
Saying no, might well be your lifeline.
We believe that people can’t manage unless we step in to help, but the reality is that one day we won’t be here to step in and I am sure there will be others to take up that mantel.
If you find yourself carrying everyone else’s worries,stressies remember that sometimes the load is too heavy for us.
All too often, a person will catastrophize a situation, sending you into a full spin of concern, only to then be told, “Oh it’s ok now,no need to worry.”
We are left exhausted mentally and physically, wondering why we have spent night after night worrying about them!
I have to teach myself not to have a knee jerk reaction to these situations, to not hit the worry button, and to give others time to sort out their own problems.
Time to empty the full bucket.
