I have often written about the impact running a support group can have on the group leaders, but it is such an important subject it needs to be acknowledged.
Firstly, this is absolutely not about me in any way, but about the group leaders all over the UK, all who give of their precious time freely, although going through their own personal living bereavement , they are always holding out that hand of friendship to others.
Listening and supporting grandparents who are going through this heartbreak can and does take its toll, carrying such distress on their shoulders can ultimately impact on their own mental health.
Those who often suffer this way, suffer because they care deeply, if they didn’t care they wouldn’t be running a group.
All leaders of groups are experts in their field because they have experienced first hand the trauma of estrangement.
I remember when I first started BGSG, when I put phone down to a distraught grandparent I felt I should go and see them in person right away, I would lie in bed thinking of them all night. I soon realized that it would be impossible to do that and I had to find a different way of supporting, it was a learning curve and continues to be so.
What I do know is that the group leaders who spend an hour on the phone listening to a grandparent save lives, just letting people know you are there at the end of the phone is a very powerful thing, and breaks the feeling of isolation.
I have heard group leaders say that they don’t feel they are doing enough or are not good enough to run a group, I say you are all more than good enough, you are not there to give grandparents false hope, or to pretend you have a magic wand and you can make it all go away. You are the person right now who is making a difference to someone, someone who feels alone and desperate, and just knowing that there is someone at the end of that phone is what matters.
There will always be those who charge in demanding you do this that and the other, and the truth is you have all done all those things already!
All group leaders are part of a team, a team who put their own sadness on the back burner to help others.
If we aren’t here on this earth to help others, I don’t see the point of why we are here.
So once again, a huge heartfelt thank you to all of you who are running groups.
