Calling all grandparents.

It is always difficult to explain to people how devastating being denied contact with your grandchildren can be.

As has been said many times now the description is that it is like ‘A living bereavement’ and it is, when you loose someone close to you there is a physical reaction. You have a knot in the pit of your stomach that churns and churns, you can’t eat, you can’t sleep. It is difficult to focus on anything that is going on around you, and yet life is going on.

I know we get many people reading the website and blog who are not denied contact and they find it impossible to understand how this can happen.

I sadly don’t have that answer, if only I did I would share it with the world.

If you are a grandparent reading this who has the privilege of being part of your grandchildren’s  lives, just think for a moment how you would feel if overnight you were told you would never see them again, never give them a hug again and never be given the opportunity to tell them you love them.

All you are left with is your memories and an enormous void in your heart.

I would say without exception every grandparent I have spoken to since 2007 are not concerned about themselves but they are concerned for the children, their well being, their entitlement to a loving and caring relationship with all family members.

The children who find themselves in the middle of adult conflict have no say on what they want, and even if they do speak out no-one listens to them, they are used as weapons in a horrible battle, with no winners.

We are constantly hearing case after case of public bodies whose duty it is to protect our children/grandchildren letting them down.

The consequence in all of this betrayal has yet to really show, but these young people have no trust in the adults around them, they have no trust in those public bodies who are supposed to help them so what do they do?

What will it do to these young people when they are embarking on adult relationships themselves, what values if any will they have?

The children are the future, but the present is fundamentally flawed in its teachings of what makes a good, loving relationship. All the political parties play with words of family unity, the importance of listening to the voices of the children, but they are just that, just words. In practise they are abusing the human rights of children to be heard.

It is up to us, those grandparents going through the trauma of separation but also the millions of grandparents who are experiencing  the joy of their grandchildren, to stand together for the sake of all the children out there who are shouting out loud for our help and support.

I don’t want to be one of the adults who has let them down.


About Jane

Jane setup Bristol Grandparent Support Group in 2007 after a string of incidents led to the loss of contact with her Grand Daughter.

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