Gender Specific

All too often when we hear about estrangement and alienation the focus is on Dads who have lost contact with their children, but it must not be forgotten that now there are an increasing number of Mums who are also finding themselves apart from their children due to alienation.

Equally when we talk about grandparents being denied contact, more often than not we refer to grandmothers, when in fact granddads are also in this horrible position.

Whoever we are the pain and hurt experienced is the same, the sheer and utter desperation is unimaginable.

Why do we get so hung up on gender?

Whenever domestic abuse is raised, adverts, information leaflets all too often show a woman cowering in the corner with her hands up to protect herself from a man, when men can and are victims themselves.

The victims of any form of abuse, be that physical or mental abuse, are all human beings, whatever their gender, is totally irrelevant.

As with grandparents support groups, alienated Mums and Dads all need to be working together, fighting for the rights of their children and grandchildren.

It is no worse for any specific group, the devastating affect hurts just the same whoever you are.

We live in an ever-changing world now.

We are no longer destined by our gender.

I remember my father saying to me, ‘you don’t need to get qualifications, you will just get married and have children.’ Can you imagine saying that to a young girl now?

I do get comments on my blogs sometimes that parents need to come first, that in some way by speaking up for grandparents I am going over and above the rights of parents.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

I absolutely agree that no alienated parent should  have to face this tragedy and I would never suggest otherwise, children need both their parents.

Actually, for us it isn’t about Mums, Dads, grandparents, it is and always has been about the children, and the life long damage alienation can and does cause.

I am not in the business of differentiating.

It is time to stop this gender bashing that goes on, the most important people in all of this are always the children.







About Jane

Jane setup Bristol Grandparent Support Group in 2007 after a string of incidents led to the loss of contact with her Grand Daughter.

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