How far would you go?

The hurt and pain caused by unjustified estrangement is beyond words.

That void feels like a permanent knot in our stomachs, it is real, a real physical strangulation, from deep within.

Some grandparents find it all encompassing and they find themselves taking desperate measures.

They will go to places that they hope their grandchildren might be, just to get a glimpse of their precious people, some will go and wait at the school.

I understand totally, but I would ask anyone who is thinking of doing this to think very carefully.

As I have written many times before, schools can not get involved in relationship breakdowns, and they will be duty bound to report anyone who might cause a child distress.

Of course no grandparent wants to cause their grandchildren distress.

It is important to put yourself into the shoes of your grandchildren.

The children are in the middle of adults problems, not theirs, they don’t  want to upset anyone, they love all their family members. They will be confused and worried about what is happening around them, but they have no say.

No child wants to see one of their parents upset or angry, so they will do all they can to please the adults in their lives.

The other result can be a visit from your local police, and if it continues a threat of arrest.

I know some grandparents feel they would willingly even go to prison, to highlight the cause, but these threats of prison can be very real, and if it comes to it a very scary place to be.

Of course we want the grandchildren to know we did everything we could, but is there maybe a better way of doing that?

Although it may sound trite, filling those memory boxes with memories, is another way of evidencing how much we care and how much we love our grandchildren. Writing  journals of our everyday life, can fill in gaps for the children.

Please don’t put yourselves at risk.

 

 

 

 

About Jane

Jane setup Bristol Grandparent Support Group in 2007 after a string of incidents led to the loss of contact with her Grand Daughter.

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