Let’s Talk About Divorce

As we all know family breakdown can happen for a variety of reasons, but today I am focusing on separation and divorce.

When we are children we listen and learn, we try to equip ourselves for the future. We are curious and enquiring, we question everything.

As we become adults, we become aware that we need to protect our futures as best we can, be that in employment, financially and within our relationships. As families we discuss all sorts of scenarios that may occur.

We look to the future, we need to make sure our family will be safe and secure should something happen to ourselves, we write wills for that security for our loved ones.

The thing we don’t do is talk about what if things go wrong within our relationship, what if we think the unthinkable, we divorce?

This has to be the most important thing we may face, it not only involves us, but it involves our most precious thing, our children.

It is one thing when a relationship doesn’t work out when it is just the two of us, but it is a very different thing when are children involved.

The children’s one and only wish is to be part of a safe and happy family.

Sadly we know that all too often the children’s wish is not fulfilled.

As parents we have a responsibility to our children, to ensure that their well-being is the priority. That any decision made, must put their needs first.

Children love both their parents and other family members, they have not fallen out of love, as the adults have.

Of course in the heady days of being in love, we can’t possibly think it can all go wrong, but sadly sometimes it does, and we owe it to our children to have something in place should it be necessary.

Recently I talked about the Parents Promise, and it is the way forward for all parents.

Don’t wait until things are breaking down, act before the cracks appear, have a ‘plan.’ However uncomfortable it feels, the children deserve us to talk about divorce.

Here is the Parents Promise:

The #ParentsPromise

Dear

Whatever happens in our relationship with each other,
we

&

promise to put your needs first by always:
Recognising that we are both your parents. You have a need for a relationship with each of us, and your wider family. We will never make you choose between us.

Loving you and keeping you safe, whilst always being respectful to one another. As your parents we will never hurt or tell lies about each other.

Working together as a partnership to provide for you and to create the best conditions for you to thrive.

https://theparentspromise.org.uk/?check=true

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

About Jane

Jane setup Bristol Grandparent Support Group in 2007 after a string of incidents led to the loss of contact with her Grand Daughter.

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