Love lost.

Here in the UK we are experiencing a heatwave, it is beautiful first thing in the morning and late in the evening, but unbearable for those who really dislike the heat.

It is also the time when most of our schools are breaking up and excited children look forward to a long break for the summer.

I am sitting in my garden writing this blog, and we have a little children’s parkĀ  just around the corner and I am listening to the children shrieking with delight and having fun.

Personally I love to just listen, to try and remember those carefree days.

For many I know how difficult this time of year is.

Everywhere you turn there are grandparents looking after their grandchildren, to help parents during the summer holidays, and I am thinking about the cruelty of denied contact.

When a parent decides that you can no longer be part of the children’s life, a part of you dies. That may sound melodramatic, but believe me it is true.

It is not because you feel you have a right to be a grandparent, I have to admit I really hate it when I hear some people say that, but it is that these precious children really are part of us.

The joy they bring to our lives is beyond words, it is a deep emotional tie that bonds us.

No-one understands that until they become grandparents.

Those who are the perpetrators of this behaviour, will I assume have many reasons for this form of cruelty, some will of course be justified, proven reasons.

All too often though it is revenge of some sort, maybe we said or did something that they didn’t like, and the weapon of choice, to get their revenge is to deny contact, of the the very personĀ  they know will hurt us most.

It is not done to protect the children, after all why on earth would they need protecting from loving caring grandparents?

This behaviour is not putting the children’s needs first in any shape or form, it is about misjudged behaviour by an adult.

Of course the damage done to the grandparent and grandchild is catastrophic and can be cause life long damage.

As grandparents we always ask why? And the sad truth is many never do find that answer.

Millions of tears are shed by grandparents, each tear representing the love lost.

Why would you want to inflict such hurt to another human being?

Families are not always easy, relationships are really hard, they take constant work, compromise, respect and understanding, from everyone.

I may not always agree with others opinions but I always try to respect them.

Until we get to a place where denying contact becomes as socially unacceptable as drink driving, the tears will continue to fall into empty laps.

Definition of cruelty: Cruelty is pleasure in inflicting suffering or inaction towards another’s suffering when a clear remedy is readily available.

About Jane

Jane setup Bristol Grandparent Support Group in 2007 after a string of incidents led to the loss of contact with her Grand Daughter.

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