Sometimes the despair of being denied contact with your grandchildren is unbearable.
Grandparents try to do all the right things that people tell them to do, they go out, they volunteer, they look after other people and do anything to keep themselves busy, but for those grandparents who don’t have a partner to share their despair it is even harder.
What ever they do during the day, at the end of that day they have to go home to an empty house and have no-one to talk to.
It is those hours and hours of utter loneliness that it can feel as though it is all just too hard.
During the day they listen to others endlessly talking about their grandchildren, all the things others are doing with their grandchildren, going to the park, baking together, it seems as though the reminders are everywhere.
It can feel that the only place to stay is at home, maybe the feelings of despair will pass quicker that way.
Like all grief, and that is what being apart from your grandchildren is, and grandparents will have to go through all the stages of grief, they have lost someone precious to them.
- SHOCK & DENIAL- You will probably react to learning of the loss with numbed disbelief. …
- PAIN & GUILT- …
- ANGER & BARGAINING- …
- “DEPRESSION”, REFLECTION, LONELINESS- …
- THE UPWARD TURN- …
- RECONSTRUCTION & WORKING THROUGH- …
- ACCEPTANCE & HOPE-
Everyone is different and will cope in their own way.
Grandparents need to lean on others and to look for support, it may be that they will need to go to their doctors and perhaps look at going to counselling to help them through this difficult time.
Never be afraid to ask for help it is a sign of strength not weakness.
Grandparents become anxious, worrying about what their grandchildren are being told about them, wondering what their grandchildren will think when they don’t receive a birthday card from them.
What I do know is whatever the grandchildren are told they still love their grandparents, they know in their heart that their grandparents still love them, they never forget their grandparents.
Lately I seem to have written on the same theme, but know that there are many grandparents feeling so low at the moment, and I want them all to know, this time will pass, that they will get through this, they are not alone.