The silent killer

It is of course right that we all focus on the children/grandchildren, they must be allowed to have a safe and loving relationship with all their family members.

What we must also not lose sight of is the often life threatening damage done to parents and grandparents.

When I am talking about the the children, I am also aware of people screaming silently,

What about me?

Every day tragically non resident parents and grandparents are ending their lives, as a result of this dreadful situation.

Mental Health for far too long has not been highlighted in the vicious world of unjustified estrangement, it is the unspoken truth.

The reality for all involved is that just getting from one day to another is so hard.

When we become parents all we ever want is for our children to be happy and safe, to find yourself being prevented from a relationship with your children has no words to convey the emptiness and desolation you feel. An ache in the pit of your stomach that never goes away.

There is no help and support for non resident parents or estranged grandparents within the ‘system’ it is up to¬† charities and voluntary groups to pick up these broken people. All of which do an amazing job.

The system needs to acknowledge the potentially fatal outcomes that go with family breakdowns.

We all know that the Mental Health services in the UK are underfunded and understaffed, but this situation has reached a critical point and people are dying as a result.

Watching and listening to a Mum, a Dad or a grandparent who are not wanting to carry on with their lives anymore is heartbreaking, this should never be allowed to continue to be a silent killer.

If you are a parent or grandparent who is still having a wonderful relationship with these precious people in your life, take a moment and just try to imagine how it would feel if you were told you are no longer wanted in their lives. Imagine how you would feel if a false allegation is made about you, imagine if a judge apologised to you for the system taking so long that it was too late for you to have relationship with your child.

No you can’t imagine, but it is happening to millions of people across the UK and world wide every single day.

Family is made up of many contributors, when those family links are broken it impacts on the whole family.

If you are suffering today with this desolation, please reach out to someone, do not suffer in silence.


Call 116 123 or email



About Jane

Jane setup Bristol Grandparent Support Group in 2007 after a string of incidents led to the loss of contact with her Grand Daughter.

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