The true meaning of support

Support will mean different things to different people, but this blog is personal.

We don’t know what support really means until we are at our lowest ebb, that dark place that feels the loneliest place on earth.

This wonderful life of ours is full of joys and trauma.

I know when I experienced my estrangement from my granddaughter I reached out for support,but I couldn’t find any, hence I set up BGSG, and amazingly I received support from the very people I was supporting, unbeknown to them.

Some of you will know that this year has been one of those traumatic parts of my life, with my husband getting a diagnosis of Prostate Cancer along with his Parkinson’s.

Once again my world suddenly was shattered, the man I have been married to for over 50 years,was facing the unknown.

Everyone who is going through similar experiences will understand that the constant merry go round of hospital appointments, scans, results etc is so stressful, it is as though peace has eluded you. I obviously use the word ‘merry’ losely!

Not only are you worried and fearful beyond imagination for your loved one but you are worried and fearful for yourself, that sounds so selfish, but it is true,suddenly everything you hold dear is slipping away from you and you have absolutely no control.

People are of course well meaning, when they say,

Jane you are a strong person, you can do this,

How little people actually know me. I am not a strong person at all, the public face I choose to show is not the person I am. Inside I am scared and frightened about how to get through this.

But of course I will, I have to.

It is at times like these when we see who are true friends are,

Here is where the meaning of the title of this blog is.

The support from others is overwhelming, and makes me realise how lucky I am to have these guardian angels around me.

My neighbour, who I have known all her life, I still remember her Mum bringing her home from hospital when she was born, I nearly got myself run over running home from school to see her for the first time, is being truly wonderful. She is taking us down to Oncology everyday for the next four weeks and picking us up, so that Marc can have his treatment. I will never be able to thank her enough.

A friend I have known for over 60 years is contacting me and meeting me for a coffee regularly, I live for my hug, that special hug that makes me feel safe. She knows who she is, and I am so privileged to call her my friend.

Then there are the grandparents I have met over the last 16 years, all of whom are going through their own distress. The messages of support have been so wonderful, and again my thanks will never be enough.

People pop into our lives for so many different reasons, it may be fleeting or for the duration but each one leaves a special footprint on our hearts.

Of course I am so lucky to have an amazing loving family around me, who are of course also going through this difficult time but we are supporting each other and looking out for one another.

This is the true meaning of support.

There will always be those who make a big noise, wave placards about, say they are going to change the world etc, but for me, that special safe hug, that commitment of support, that gentle touch of care from one human being to another is why we are all here.

To be there for people who feel there is no future, to show them they are loved and cared for shows no boundaries.

I will never, ever be able to thank everyone for their kindness, but you are all helping Marc and I in ways you will never know.

Thank you.

 

About Jane

Jane setup Bristol Grandparent Support Group in 2007 after a string of incidents led to the loss of contact with her Grand Daughter.

View all Jane Posts

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