T’was the night before Christmas

As a child Christmas Eve was always a day of excitement, a day where everyone seemed to be bustling about, busy, busy, there were wonderful smells emanating from the kitchen, mince pies, stuffing and mulled wine.

That same excitement will no doubt be happening all over the world.

Even as an adult I can still relive those moments of expectation.

Christmas is a time for children, but there will be millions of children all across the UK and beyond, filled with utter sadness and despair as they will not be seeing or hearing from their grandparents whom they love so dearly. Prevented from sharing this special time of the year, due to the control, of a parent.

Why would any parent, take pleasure in preventing the unique relationship between a grandparent and grandchild? Robbing both generations of that special unconditional love?

( Unless there is a proven safe-guarding issue.)

Being a grandparent is not a right, it is a privilege.

As our ‘Tree of Hope,’ flutters in the breeze covered in messages of love for grandchildren, some of these grandparents who have so carefully written the words, will find it too hard to even get out of bed, they will stay hidden under their duvet, waiting for the festivities to be over.

Whatever may or may not have happened, no-one should be made to feel so isolated and alone.

BGSG has focussed this year on the emotional abuse that this causes children and we will continue 2020 in doing the same, until the organisations who are supposed to be there to support and help children, publicly acknowledge the fact and support us in raising awareness.

If there is any doubt that this is emotional abuse read these:

As a child you are powerless to insist that you see your grandparents, however much you want to. I feel a sense of deep loss, guilt and regret. I truly hope that my grandparents still knew of our love for them, and that we were powerless to do anything (Hansard, HC Deb 2 May 2018 vol. 640 col 170WH).

This was written by a young man in his 20’s. He has suffered, as you can see, enormous damage.

I was not allowed to go and see my grandad when he was dying, not allowed to go to his funeral or allowed to speak about him. I shall never forgive my parents. My grandad died thinking I didn’t love him.

This is why BGSG will continue, as we have done for over 12 years, speaking out and telling it like it is.

About Jane

Jane setup Bristol Grandparent Support Group in 2007 after a string of incidents led to the loss of contact with her Grand Daughter.

View all Jane Posts


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