Can I call you Dad?

Being an estranged parent brings all sorts of heartbreak, of course not being able to see your own child is the very worst thing that can happen to you.

Overtime you may find that your child/children start to call you by your first name, and the hurt that causes is enormous.

When we become parents we treasure every single milestone as they come thick and fast. I expect we can all remember the first time we heard our child call us Mum or Dad , just priceless.

There may be some debate with parents as to whether a child saying “Mmummm, Muuuma or Da,da.” constitutes actually saying Mum or Dad, but the pleasure of that moment is so special.

So just imagine when a child, stops calling you Mum or Dad?

Instead they call you by  your first name.

Unless this has happened to you or a family member, you will not understand.

I can tell you from my own experience that when I first heard my grandchild call her dad by his first name, it broke my heart, let alone what it did to my son.

That little person who had worked so hard to say Daddy, suddenly dropped that magic word.

It may seem to some that it isn’t really important, after all some couples make a decision to not be called Mum and Dad but that is a joint decision made together.

Does a small child actually make that decision?

I would suspect, no they don’t, it may well have been suggested by someone else.

Most parents proudest moment is to be a Dad/Mum, to have that taken away is devastating.

A controlling parent would see it as a win.

As we fast forward, to a time of reconciliation, imagine how it feels when your child says,” Can I call you Dad/Mum, again.”

Those words are something that an estranged parent has only dreamt of.

For me being a Mum, is the best thing that ever happened to me, and when I used to hear a precious small person charge through the house shouting,” Granny, granny,” my heart would miss a beat.


About Jane

Jane setup Bristol Grandparent Support Group in 2007 after a string of incidents led to the loss of contact with her Grand Daughter.

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